Clients come to coaching for many reasons. Whatever their underlying intentions, goals, or dreams, all of the outcomes they are searching for involve change.
…And all change involves some degree of risk.
People have different relationships with risk and uncertainty.
Some of us prefer stability and like to deal with what is known and manage risks so that there are as few of them as possible.
Some of us prefer to innovate and improvise and are more attuned to taking a risk without knowing what the outcome will be.
Both of these approaches are strengths… Everyone falls somewhere along this continuum. (You can measure this for yourself by taking the KOLBE A Index).
We all have a natural way of doing things – our own unique set of innate strengths and talents which remain unchanged from birth. The impact of our instincts drives our natural way of taking action.
Taking a risk is a risky business, but an essential one if you want to successfully change your life.
Some clients struggle with change and uncertainty…
I’m sure you’ve experienced times when a client has struggled with change. They might freeze when faced with the uncertainty of an outcome.
I once worked with a client who found letting go of anything extremely hard. He would cling to what he had, even when he didn’t want it any longer. He’d let go with one hand, but the other firmly held on. Letting go and seeing what happens terrified him because he wanted to know how it would turn out before he fully committed.
He was risk averse.
By holding on, his strategy was to wait and hope that someone or something would change the situation or force his hand. So he stayed too long in work roles and relationships. He endured the suffering of holding on.
His friends constantly reminded him that he was earning good money and told him he’d be crazy to leave! Inside however, he felt hollow and numb, his work nolonger fulfilled him and he was just going through the motions.
Here’s what I’ve learned…
Often in these situations, what we are clinging onto is our own inner security, those familiar habits. The way we have done things in the past seems easier because this way we get to continue to make the same choices each day (even if we’re not very happy).
Life becomes routine and automated because we’re in a holding pattern, circling around, waiting for something to happen from the outside to jolt us into something different. At the same time, the inside is bored, unfulfilled, and stale. Showing up the same way every day feels hollow.
Humans are naturally programmed for learning and growth and it’s a life-long process. I believe that our souls are infinitely creative, curious, and open to change.
Our unconscious habits create limiting beliefs and we settle for mediocre rather than stretching and expanding. Our mindset becomes fixed when the boredom and a false sense of security set in, and we focus on the protecting and maintaining we have.
Helping our clients recognize these unconscious patterns is a game changer.
When they realize they are operating from a specific range of automated responses, they’ll recognize the limitations of their choices and this gives them insights into a broader range of choices that will move them towards their desired results.
Taking a risk expands the soul…
I’ve taken many risks in my life both big and small.
As an international Learning and Development Consultant my work often involved travelling alone to countries where English was a 2nd or 3rd language.
Often the flights were scheduled in the evenings after a day’s training, so I’d arrive late a night and I’d trust my taxi driver to drive me to my hotel. My Dad was concerned for my safety and sometimes tried to persuade me not to go.
I found each trip exciting and expanding for my soul. I visited some amazing places, learned new ways of doing things, developed an appreciation of different cultures, saw new wildlife and tried new foods!
I loved it!
You have to be willing to trust in the unknown
Any risks (big or small) you have to be willing to open your mind and be curious. As children do this naturally. As we grow older and experience life, we learn to replace curiosity with fear, as we lose our sense of connection with our natural surroundings. We become constricted by our thinking patterns.
When we are on the edge of the unknown, things are shifting at some fundamental level and even though we might be suffering, and do not know what to do, this is when many of our clients have a breakthrough…
The unknown is giving us an opportunity to grow if we are willing to trust it…
Doing something outside of the norm doesn’t have to be big or dangerous!
Taking a risk involves stepping beyond the borders of you, of what you already know and to be willing to experience something new. Moving beyond the boundaries of the person you currently believe you are.
As coaches, we are supporting our clients stepping up into the person they want to become. There is infinite possibility. This can be uncomfortable and scary…and sometimes exciting! You meet your client where they are in terms of their own personal relationship to risk and uncertainty.
If someone is risk averse, you have to meet them where they are. Help them to replace their fear with curiosity and explore making small changes. This might begin by experimenting with doing something differently, or taking up a new interest.
Here are a few examples to get you started:
- Take up yoga
- Read a book that you wouldn’t normally choose
- Try some new food choices that you’re not familiar with
- Exercise in a different way
- Change your morning or evening rituals
- Travel to a country you’ve never been before
- Learn a new hobby or craft
Taking small risks every day can be fun. It can fill you with joy and fulfillment because you’re trying something different.
Practicing in this way, helps you to build your risk taking muscle that will help you to handle bigger risks when they show up in your life.
Wherever you or your clients are on this risk continuum, learn to embrace risk and why it is important for change.
What risks have you taken that have created change in your life? How has this helped you expand?