Thinking of Quitting? Stop and Do This First…

We all have moments when we feel like quitting.

I’m sure that at times, you have felt like giving up, and maybe running away to start a new life, business or career when something feels too hard, overwhelming or challenging.

There have certainly been moments when I’ve felt like giving up. When this happens I imagine myself getting a job as a tour guide at the local wildlife center. (Where I could happily spend my days hanging out and talking to tourists about black bears!) 🙂

The truth is that EVERYONE FEELS like giving up sometimes. Especially when you hit a roadblock that feels too hard to navigate. This is when quitting can become an option – especially when you’re faced with what seems like an impossible challenge.

As a coach, I see this with my clients when learning new things take longer than they’d anticipated, and they get frustrated because they are not seeing the pay-off for all their hard work and investment. There are times when things get difficult and we all struggle with loss, uncertainty and doubt.

From my experience, wanting to quit is an unconscious reaction to fear. Fear and doubt are dream killers and in moments of uncertainty, it’s easy to allow them to erode our confidence and win out.

We want assurances on how things are going to turn out, and when these aren’t available we feel uncomfortable taking action. We hesitate. Our energy drains away and is quickly replaced by excuses. Avoidance strategies kick in as we pull back to hide in our comfort zone where it is safe.

We stop being successful…

This lack of energy towards your goal reinforces your limiting belief that “I’m not cut out for this…” and you become locked into a lack-mindset.

There is a difference between TALKING about quitting and ACTUALLY quitting.

One involves THOUGHT, the other ACTION.

Here’s what to do when you feel like quitting:

1. Take responsibility. Recognize and then let go of any excuses that you are telling yourself. Accept where you are right now. You might not be able to influence what has happened in the past, but you can influence the present and shape future outcomes.

2. Recommit to your goal/dream. Remind yourself WHY you want to do this. Reignite the flame burning deep within you. You CAN do this, but ONLY if you REALLY WANT to do it. Take time to re-connect and renew your energy. Everything begins with commitment. If you truly want to make this happen, then you’ve got to be in 100%.

3. Get out of your own way. Recognize that those voices in your head are not real. Become familiar with your Inner Critic. Write down their messages, as these are what are keeping you from your own knowing and inner wisdom. Your Inner Critic isn’t interested in your success – just your survival. If you create a distance between these messages and yourself, they’ll have less impact. These are thoughts and not the truth. See them for what they are – Lies!

4. Be curious. Use the problem as the raw material for your solution. Instead of asking: “Can I really do this?,” ask “How can I do this?” And remember that an idea will ALWAYS remain just an idea unless you take deliberate action. Plan your very next step and take conscious action step by step to make it happen.

5. Get some help. Having a coach as a sounding board and to reflect back your behavior helps you to break through your challenges and holds you accountable along the way. Having someone on your side makes ALL the difference and stops you feeling isolated and alone.

Feeling like quitting is actually a gift!

You are usually on the verge of a huge transformation. It’s the hardest thing to go through, especially when you just want to run away. But, if you can be open and curious, it is possible that you are working through your deepest fear right now.

These are the defining moments that make us question and challenge ourselves. This is where you have a choice between Getting Out or Going Deeper In…

What I’ve come to realize is that there is no Getting Out. When my clients feel like this they have to walk Deeper In. These feelings aren’t the enemy, they are meant to be experienced. If you stay with them they will dissipate and are a catalyst for your transformation and growth.

In these situations you might feel a little vulnerable and uncomfortable. Vulnerability and fear have a way of peeling back the bullshit and getting you closer to the core of who you are. As you let go and things fall away, a new deeper level emerges.

Grow into your challenges by growing deeper into uncertainty and the unknown. The solutions for success are waiting to be found as you to connect deeper to your authentic self.