Replacing Fear with Faith (in Yourself): A Personal Journey.

In the whirlwind of life’s challenges, it’s easy to be swept away by the storm of fear and doubt. But there always is a light that is ever present shining through that we have access to – faith in oneself.

Through my journey, marked by grief and confusion, I discovered the transformative power of replacing fear with faith. This blog post is not just a reflection of my experiences but an invitation to walk a path of self-belief and resilience.

The Overwhelming Grip of Fear

In the Fall of 2022, I faced an unexpected and heartbreaking situation. The sudden death of my beloved stepmother was a crushing blow, and the unexpected estrangement from my stepfamily left me disoriented and deeply saddened. Once integral parts of this family, my Brother and I suddenly found ourselves estranged.

Amid this turmoil, I had to fulfill my responsibilities as the executor of my late father’s estate, a role that proved to be both challenging and enlightening.

I experienced intense self-doubt, a feeling of being unmoored, and a loss of faith in people and the world around me. People who had always been friendly suddenly became hostile and defensive (Grief has many layers). I was away from my home and my family for a whole month.

My coaching business, once a source of joy and fulfillment, began to feel like a burden. All I desired was the simplicity of nature, the quiet companionship of my dog, and the solace of the outdoors.

This traumatic experience left me feeling numb to life.

What I learned from this was profoundly transformational. With support, I was able to see how grief and confusion caused me to become lost in fear.

Here is how fear can unconsciously take hold of you and how I reclaimed faith in myself:

The Grip of Fear

• Rejection and Misunderstanding: The truth is that everyone will not resonate with your intentions or actions, regardless of their past behavior, which can be paralyzing. People believe their own stories, especially when they are lost in grief and might not be open to listening to your perspective. Fear breeds fear.

• Self-Doubt and Loss of Trust: Fear often distorts reality, leading you to question your capabilities and erode your self-confidence. Being accused of things that are not true deeply hurts and creates confusion. It’s hard to know what or who to believe anymore.

• Trapped in the Past: Fear can keep you locked in a cycle of revisiting past traumas and distorted narratives, preventing progress and growth. It brings up things and causes more suffering and pain. You question memories – no longer knowing if they were the truth.

• Isolation: Fear convinces you that you’re alone, that others can’t or won’t understand you, no matter how noble your intentions. I was 4,500 miles from home, away from my friends and family, and handling most of this grief, confusion, and hostility on my own.

• Paralysis in Decision-Making: Fear can make every choice seem daunting, leading to indecision and stagnation. Especially when heightened emotions are involved. I had some difficult conversations and decisions to make as Executor of my Dad’s Estate.

• Diminished Self-Worth: Constant fear can erode your sense of self-worth, making you feel unworthy of success or happiness. You start to question everything including your sanity.

Reclaiming Faith in Yourself

• Harnessing the Universal Laws: By understanding and applying principles like the Law of Attraction, I started manifesting positive changes and outcomes in my life. Realigning to the three Laws (1. Like attracts like. 2. Cause and Effect. 3. Law of Reciprocity) was very helpful to me on my journey out of the darkness.

  I became aware of the decisions I was making, the thoughts I was thinking, the words I was using, and the actions or inaction I was taking.

• Self-Awareness Through Enneagram: Recognizing my Enneagram type and noticing my triggers helped to identify my unconscious patterns and triggers. I could create a little distance between the situation and my emotions. In this space, I could develop options and make better choices.

  Understanding other personality types also helped me to face discomfort and handle conflict, knowing it is not personal – it was unconscious patterns at play (because of fear and grief).

• Everyone Isn’t Going to Like Me: Being a Type 7 on the Enneagram, unconsciously wired to make people happy and be liked by everyone. This desire to uplift those around me has been a significant part of my identity.

  This experience has taught me a profound truth: not everyone will align with my perspectives or like me. Coming to terms with this reality was liberating and hugely shifted my self-perception.

  Accepting that it’s okay for some to dislike me has been an essential step in reclaiming faith in myself. It has freed me from the unrealistic expectation of universal approval, allowing me to embrace my true self. I feel lighter and more peaceful.

• Cultivating Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness and meditation. These practices help me stay grounded and centered, allowing me to observe my fears without becoming overwhelmed. The past and the future aren’t real. The present is where you live your life. All we have is the present:
  
  “Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is life itself, it is an insane way to live.” – Eckhart Tolle

• Embracing Vulnerability: Learning to openly confront my fears marked a crucial turning point in my journey. Fear naturally makes us feel vulnerable, but I’ve found strength in this vulnerability. By sharing my struggles and uncertainties, I began to dismantle the isolation that fear often creates. This process of opening up was not just about confronting my fears but also about realizing that these emotions are a shared human experience. We are never as alone as we might feel.

  This embrace of vulnerability has been more than just a personal revelation; it has been a path to deeper empathy and understanding. It taught me that vulnerability is not a weakness but a courageous act of self-honesty.

  It’s a way to connect genuinely with others and to transform our most challenging experiences into sources of strength and wisdom. It deepened my friendships.

• Seeking Support: Sometimes, the journey back to faith in oneself requires the guidance of a mentor, coach, or therapist who can provide perspective and tools for change. I had some great support from close friends via Zoom (in the USA), and my direct family in Yorkshire while I was in the UK, and this continued after I returned home. 🙏💜

While I know was an intense and extreme situation, we all experience times like this in our lives. In my work as a coach-mentor, I often see moments when my clients are gripped by fear. Running a business is hard work. It is in these moments that we lose faith in ourselves and our limiting beliefs take over.

We all need this reminder…

Faith – The Beacon in the Darkness

Faith is a journey of understanding, letting go, accepting, and ultimately, transforming oneself. By embracing faith, we open doors to new possibilities, unshackle ourselves from the past, and step into the present.

The antidote to fear is faith – faith in yourself, your journey, and the belief that even in the darkest of times, there is a path forward. By embracing faith, we open ourselves to healing, growth, and the strength to navigate life’s most challenging storms.

You are wiser and more powerful than you think – Have faith in yourself.