Facing New Challenges? – 5 Powerful lessons from an ‘Alien’!

Facing New Challenges…

A PERSONAL STORY…
In 2013, I made the decision to uproot from the country of my Birth (England) and move to the USA. I left behind the familiarity of my homeland where I’d lived and worked all my life.

I sold my house, my car and gave away everything except for the essentials that could fit into four suitcases and a laptop bag. (All that I could physically carry through an airport!)

On December 13, 2013, I boarded my plane headed for Charlotte International airport USA.

It was a HUGE leap of faith…

I was determined to make it on my own.

You have no choice but to be strong, if you decide to build a new life in a new country. Nothing prepares you for the amount of new challenges that come with deciding to move your life 4,000+ miles across the ocean….

It requires a whole different investment of energy. You have to rethink EVERYTHING!

Uprooting my life, taught me A LOT about myself. I left behind all the old identities that my Ego had relied upon all my life. I was forced to let go of the old and familiar, as it was no longer relevant in my new world, while trying to stay strong to my roots.

 

A Big Adventure is Challenging…

At first, everything was an adventure. I was living my dream – an intrepid explorer braving the ‘New World!’

What I didn’t realize was, that all the systems that I’d grown up with and had supported me, were now irrelevant here in my new home.

US Homeland Security Immigration officially gave me the title of ‘Legal Alien.’ I could totally relate to this… Some days I felt like I was an alien who had just arrived on a new planet! I felt lost and adrift (…And I could totally resonate to Sting’s lyrics in his song: ‘An Englishman in New York!’ 🙂 )

The enormity of what I’d previously taken for granted hit me as I navigated the daily challenges of adapting to my new life. I felt vulnerable and bare…

I was literally beginning again… I had no credit rating in the USA and even had to give American Express $1,000 in cash to secure a credit card! My excellent credit in the UK wasn’t acknowledged even with the same bank overseas!

I knew that I had to let go of everything like this if I wanted to thrive and create the next positive version of myself…

 

Disengaging Autopilot

Suddenly everything was unfamiliar. Things that used to be mundane now became daily challenges, as I slowly navigated my way forward.

I had no idea how much things cost or how to value things in dollars compared to pounds sterling. I didn’t even know how to pay bills from a US bank account or where to mail a letter. I literally was beginning again!

I had no choice but to work harder if I wanted to establish this country as my new home. Instead of going into fear and listening to my Inner Critic screaming: “What have you done?!” I decided to get curious.

The skills that I’ve learned through this experience have been huge and it has made me a better coach. Here is how I responded to facing new challenges:

 

1. Taking Responsibility for my Life

Making a commitment to change EVERYTHING taught me how to accept full responsibility for my life.

YOU are the master of change – YOU make things happen in YOUR life. Waiting isn’t an option if you want to fulfill your dreams.

It’s easy to feel like an outsider in a new country. Especially when you use different words and have different accent. You stand out. Unconsciously you just want to blend in, but people constantly remind you about your differences. This leads you to questioning yourself – Do I change the way I speak?

I decided to keep my accent, as people seemed love it. I am proud of my heritage and my uniqueness. Having roots is so important in today’s crazy world.

Some days I felt like that I didn’t belong in either culture. I felt adrift. Keeping connected to my roots gave me the strength to be open to new growth, as I settled into my new soil!

Where can you take more responsibility in your life?

 

2. Connecting with Like-minded People

We all need to be nourished by those we choose to spend our time with. Moving countries meant that I left some friends behind.

It’s interesting to consider who we spend most of our time with and how they influence our thinking, feeling and behavior. I consciously made friends with people who had positive energy and who supported me in my growth.

Spend more time with these people. They will anchor you to your goals and dreams.

 

3. Learning to be Present

We have so many things in life that we do unconsciously without thinking. We pretty much run on autopilot. Becoming an Immigrant forced me into being fully present, as everything was different:

I had to be ‘present’ crossing the road. I relearned how to look the opposite way. Cars now came from the right and not the left.

In England, we all walk on the left. In the US they all walk on the right. When I’m not ‘present’ I still find myself defaulting to the left and walking into people!

Most Americans speak English. However, a deep southern accent can be a little tricky to understand! 🙂 So I listened intently to others so I could translate accents, culture, humor and their different use of words. This was important if I wanted to be accepted.

‘Presence’ is so important if you want to truly experience your life. If you think about it – Your life is lived only in the present. Not the past or the future. This moment counts!

Being present is essential if you want to have a fulfilling life. You don’t have to be navigating a new country to learn this precious skill.

How can you be more present in your life?

 

4. Strengthening my decision making

Building my new life meant that I had to get good at decision making.

All that I’ve written about here involved decision making. I had to re-think and explore everything as I was adapting to my new environment. I was forced to make decisions every single day. For example, I moved into a completely empty house (with my four suitcases and two cats), so I had many decisions to make. I’d also started a new job as Head Coach in a new company.

Showing up every day strengthened my decision making muscles.

Practice making small decisions every day.

 

5. Learning to Adapt

Even basic living was challenging because everything suddenly required more brain power. I had to be open to learning the fundamentals again…I was stepping out of my comfort zone every single day.

Whether it was in a meeting at work, driving the car on the wrong side of the road, or grocery shopping where all the brands on the shelf were unfamiliar and I had to READ the packages.

Everything was different!

Have you ever been grocery shopping where you don’t recognize ANY of the labels?! How do you know what is good and what sucks?! 🙂 Shopping was exhausting and some days my brain hurt!

So I had to ask questions, and be prepared to look stupid, in order to adapt to the new ways of thinking and doing.

I learned how to be flexible and adaptable – I accepted that I was a beginner again – open and willing to learn, with no expectations or preconceived ideas.

We can all feel like an alien when we’re facing new challenges, stepping up, trying something new and living outside of our comfort zone…

You ONLY have ONE life – Lean into your challenges and follow your dreams!

What new challenges are you facing just now?