Do you sometimes have clients who prefer to prepare to work rather than wanting to do the work?
Whether you are on the receiving end or giving end of coaching, the truth is that if you want to create any change in your life you can’t eliminate DOING the work that is needed (including the inner work).
Let me explain…
Most of us are good at learning new information. Knowledge is power right?! 🤔hmm…
Information on its own isn’t enough to make any real transformational change, even if it makes us feel like we are being productive and busy.
Clients can stay stuck gathering more information because they either don’t know how to transfer their knowledge into action or they are too scared to move forward (or BOTH of these).
Getting ready-to-be-ready…
I’ve noticed, over many years of developing people, some clients unconsciously struggle to move from preparation into action. They feel more comfortable planning and practicing and procrastinating…
When is enough information enough? Or is it just an excuse to avoid the action that they really need to take?
Here’s a real coaching example…
I once had a client who was a brand new coach who had just completed her coaching certification. She was excited to be ready for her first paying client.
She did all the back-end work to be able to accept clients. She was ready to make an offer to enroll her first actual client…
She stalled…
Instead of reaching out to potential customers, she procrastinated. Her self-imposed resistance made her freeze right at the edge of taking action every time she thought about it.
Her fear was so great she disappeared from coaching for a month!
When she returned to coaching, we explored what had happened. My client believed that she wasn’t a real coach. Her fear had paralyzed her and she avoided thinking about getting clients by making herself busy gathering more information on how to be a great coach.
She didn’t need more information.
She didn’t even need more coaching on how to find her first client.
She needed to overcome her fear and limiting beliefs before stepping into making her business real…
Resisting taking action, when she was so close to achieving her goal, was an unconscious pattern for my client.
Exploring what was behind her fear was the entry point for my coaching. Connecting with my client here I was able to help her recognize how she was getting in her own way, and how to overcome it. I coached her through the fear.
The antidote to fear is faith – she didn’t believe in herself and was having a hard time getting in touch with her feelings and hearing her inner truth.
She let go of the old story surrounding her need for more information. She tapped into her own inner authority and stepped courageously into taking action to reach out to 5 potential clients.
One week later enrolled her first client!
Personality types who would rather stay busy than be ready!
For those of you who are familiar with the Enneagram, I’ve especially noticed this behavior in the following personality types:
Enneagram One (The Perfectionist) type can struggle, because they hesitate to take action when they are worried they’ll make a mistake or get it wrong.
Enneagram Five (The Investigator) can struggle to discern when enough information is enough. They are fearful they are STILL NOT capable enough.
Enneagram Nine (The Peacemaker) type struggles to fully engage and stay on the edge of things rather than getting involved. Nines will remain busy with less important activities and will ruminate when it’s time to make a decision or move into action. Rumination feels more comfortable than taking action!
In all of these situations, there is something deeper going on that needs addressing BEFORE a client can take action…
Coaches need to go beyond coaching strategy and how-to’s to help our clients break through their resistance. We have to help them to overcome their fear and to begin to develop faith in themselves.
There are three very basic levels of coaching:
It’s useful to remember these very basic principles when you’re coaching someone who likes to stay in getting ready-to-be-ready mode.
Acquiring information is level one. Information does not transform someone’s life because they have the knowledge and can remember content. It does not address a person’s deeper patterns, or how to get out of your own way!
I remember learning information at school and using it to pass my exams. I even recorded how many hours I spent revising for each subject.
My life wasn’t transformed because I was required to remember content. It was headwork. A means to an end to get my ‘O’ Levels. I was taught to memorize facts and answer written questions in an exam.
Information isn’t transformational because it requires people to remember content!
Asking questions and self-inquiry is the next level where you deepen your understanding and self-awareness. Having perspective helps your client to see how they show up or shut down in an aspect of their life where they want to create a shift.
Self-inquiry allows your clients the ability to see themselves clearly, perhaps for the first time: What is it like being on the receiving end of me? A coach can provide the key to unlock the door to a client’s inner self, providing a mirror and opening up new options available to them.
Transformation is the third level that comes through healing patterns and addressing unresolved issues and experiencing new ways of doing and being.
This is where things start to change, through decision and commitment then having the courage to take action, experiment, and experience new ways of doing things and what that feels like, even if it’s uncomfortable at first.
Transformation involves deep coaching to understand your client and become aware of their predictable unconscious patterns.
All three levels are required in coaching…
WARNING! YOU have to do the inner work as a coach first…
Unless a coach has done their own inner work, it’s hard for them to help others transform their lives, because they have not experienced for themselves the information they are sharing.
You can only coach to the level you understand yourself. You will coach to the edge of your own coaching limitations.
Have you ever coached someone and recognized what the core issue was but felt out of your depth and too scared to address it directly or deeply?
It can be frustrating when you get someone so close to a breakthrough, but you haven’t gotten deeply to the heart of the matter and you’re not sure what to do to get them there…
Some coaches stop here and stick to what they know rather than engage in deeper inner work… They move on to the next client.
If you want to be a brilliant coach you have to do the work you want your clients to engage in, or you will stay stuck and both your client results and your business will be limited.
Intellect and know-how will only take you so far, whether you are being coached or you are coaching others…