There are many times in my life when I’ve gotten things wrong and I’ve made mistakes:
- I made a decision and the outcome was much less than I expected.
- I misunderstood a situation and responded in an inappropriate way.
- I got a different reaction to what I’d expected.
- I felt that I could have done much better.
- I didn’t listen to and be guided by my intuitive self
Getting things wrong feels so painful, especially if it involves another person – you take their feedback personally and it compounds the situation. Hastily you’ll retreat to lick your wounds or to get lost in shame and self-pity.
- Your inner critic re-runs the situation over and over in your head: “If only I’d…” as if this might change the outcome. Instead, it magnifies the pain and makes you feel small, isolated, separate, and alone.
- You obsess about what other people might be thinking, saying, or reacting as part of this internal unraveling. (None of this is the truth btw!)
- You doubt our abilities and motives. This alone can be enough to kill your dreams and stop you from moving forward. Shame and self-pity make you want to lock all the doors, pull down the shutters and never show your face again.
“I should have known better!”
Your ego hates getting it wrong! It takes over as it goes into defense mode and there is no room for confidence or self-belief – they sneak quietly out of the back door.
Getting beyond the Ego’s perfection!
Some of us have Egos that are seldom satisfied with the way that things are. They have unrealistic high standards or rules that change from situation to situation. This judge burdens us with the heavy weight of negative commentary and endless high expectations.
Put Perfection down and step away!
Allow yourself the gift of imperfection – it is freeing and humbling. Whatever we do in life, will be imperfect because we are human beings learning and growing.
FACT CHECK – We will get things wrong and make mistakes along the way! It’s natural and normal.
Give yourself permission to put down the burden of trying to make EVERYTHING perfect!
Experiment with being consciously imperfect! I actually encourage my perfectionistic clients to practice making mistakes.
Notice when you get something wrong and accept it, be with the feelings and allow it to dissipate through you. Don’t grab onto those negative thoughts and get swept away by those impeding stories of doom! They are in your imagination!
Why it’s okay to be wrong…
You did it!
You stepped into your power and took a risk for something you were passionate about and believed in.
You took imperfect action and did it.
Get your perfectionist Ego to step back by reframing your thinking:
- You were brave enough to step up and try.
- We ALL get things wrong and make mistakes because we’re human. Humans are naturally imperfect!
- Sometimes when you try new things you face ridicule and opposition from others. This often comes before acceptance. Your ideas might be seen as a threat to other people’s comfort zones.
- Getting it wrong is sometimes an essential part of the journey to getting it right. Without the wrong, you’d never have stumbled upon the right. (remember learning to ride a bicycle?)
- Growth happens when things go wrong. New shoots form. Confidence comes from commitment, and the courage to learn new things. Learning is like a light that restores energy, allows growth, and helps you to believe in possibility.
Here’s how to get wrong right:
- Take ownership and responsibility for your thinking. What have I learned here? What will I do differently next time?
- Choose NOT to listen to your inner critic because it’s not telling the truth.
- Embrace the humility of being human – sometimes we screw up – it’s okay!
- Those negative emotions will pass – Be with the feelings, feel them and let them dissipate.
- Continue to believe in yourself even though you may feel doubt and confusion. Go back to your intention, and re-commit to your learning journey.
We need to create mental and emotional space inside to observe and understand ourselves. Become the observer in your life rather than just being absorbed by your patterns. Learn how you operate in the present moment and start where you are…
Accept the nature of the human experience with all its strengths and limitations. Being wrong is just a natural part of your journey!
How did being wrong help you to grow?