Two surprising ways to breakthrough when you don’t know what to do

There are times in all of our lives when we don’t know what to do.

We want certainty before taking the leap, we want the confidence to know what the right next step is, before we take it. We want to know that it will be okay and we can’t get it wrong…

Not knowing the outcome can feel very scary even for those of us who are better suited to risk and uncertainty.

I have coached many people through not knowing what to do… This comes with the territory of a growth mindset. Learning and growing brings not knowing, as you are expanding and stepping outside what you already know and feel comfortable with.

Also, from my experiences, most people simply let their life happen to them. They wait, procrastinate, and react. There’s no sense of urgency and certainly no strategy. They just get busy doing stuff…and time rolls on.

They stay stuck because they don’t know what to do…They don’t have a sense of purpose or direction. Their growth is random and chaotic, a bit like a pinball. They drift from one idea to another having no clue where they want to go.

So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?

1. TRY DOING NOTHING!

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do when there’s so much going on inside your head. It’s important to shut off all that mental noise and chatter and create a little space to live empty. This is not about staying stuck and letting life happen to you. Taking a little time out shuts down all those mental energy leaks. This is especially helpful when you’re overthinking and trying too hard to figure it out!

Doing nothing can feel counterintuitive, because we are conditioned to do-do-do and keep being productive – stopping is being lazy right? WRONG! It can feel weird to STOP. But here’s the thing – overthinking is exhausting and draining. You grab hold of every negative thought, and tie yourself in knots. You believe these thoughts to be true and increase your anxiety, exhaustion and self-doubt.

STOP!

By doing nothing you are actually protecting yourself by noticing your own pattern of mental overwhelm, creating a little distance between it and you and then letting it go. You are taking back control by giving yourself permission to do nothing and recharge your energy.

You are NOT checking off a list or thinking about doing nothing!

Here are just a few ways to do nothing:

• Watch the river (my personal favorite – I did this daily for a month during the Pandemic)
• Napping (very healthy)
• Gardening (pulling up weeds or just futzing about with plants)
• Reading something for fun
• Walking in the woods
• Playing with the kids
• Throwing a ball for the dog
• Hanging out with your partner or friends
• Watching wildlife
• Listening to birdsong and the sounds around you
• Daydream
• Eat great food
• Taking a long luxurious bath
• Sit on the grass and feel it’s grassiness!

…Anything that creates a circuit breaker from your exhaustive thinking and fatigue. Something that grounds and centers you and reconnects you back to your body and senses.

My coaching clients often tell me that they do their best thinking, when they’re NOT thinking and doing nothing! They have disconnected the DOING and are BEING present in their life. It’s a great circuit breaker when you don’t know what to do.

Out of space comes clarity. Try this! 🙂

2. KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS

Your strengths hold the key to where you have the most potential for growth. If you focus on growing your strengths, you will build confidence in your abilities and these can help you to set a course for where you want to go. Look for opportunities to use your strengths along the way. Knowing yourself and growing yourself are intertwined.
Two great resources for this are:

• Uncover your Natural Strengths Session – The Kolbe A Index is a tool that measures what you WILL or WON’T do… Knowing this gives you a greater understanding of your own natural instincts. It allows you to maximize your mental energy by becoming aware of, and liberating our own most basic instincts for success. Knowing how much mental energy you have for the different kinds of tasks allows you to make deliberate, conscious choices…

  When you are free to use your strengths, you naturally problem solve and make decisions your own way. It helps you to see if you’re aligned to the work you are doing, and how to apply your natural talents making you more productive and less stressful

• Strengths Finder 2.0 – Is a great book by Tom Rath through Gallop. It helps people uncover their talents, and Gallup developed an online assessment, StrengthsFinder, to help you discover your top five talents.

Give yourself a moment to STOP long enough to allow that quiet inner voice of truth to guide you.

Next time you don’t know what to do… Step back a moment and try these two things…

You’ve got this!

(We can always jump on a quick call if you need help with anything 🌱 )