What are excuses any way?
Excuses are just stories we keep telling ourselves when doubts and fears get in the way of us realizing our goals and dreams. It’s our Ego’s way of keeping us safe.
Stretching beyond what we know or trying something new involves risk and uncertainty. We ride a wave of feeling empowered only to be sometimes washed ashore by fear and doubt. The voices in our head provide a rich dialogue of excuses of why we should give up right now. Some of them seem very convincing in-the-moment.
Excuses reinforce our limiting beliefs.
Our thinking keeps us stuck as we unconsciously loop around in the flotsam and jetsam (to continue the metaphor! 🙂 ) often without us realizing it. Each day we automatically think the same thoughts and follow these patterns over and over again.
See if you recognize any of these from your own repertoire, I certainly do 🙂
“I’m not good enough…”
“I’m too old…”
“I don’t have time…”
“No one’s going to pay for my services…”
“I’ll take too long…”
“I just need to do another course…”
“I don’t deserve it…”
“It’s too hard/difficult…”
“I just need the right person to…”
“I can’t afford it…”
“I’m too busy…”
“I’m different…”
Excuses are NOT the truth, but if you allow yourself to become hooked by your own thinking, then the situation feels hopeless.
Our habitual mind consciously runs the show using a lifelong wealth of old thinking patterns and habits. We grab hold of that thought and keep re-telling the story until we believe it to be the truth.
Here’s the thing…
You have a choice over everything that you think, say and do. You can create new habits and patterns. As Dr Wayne W Dyer explains:
“When you abandon making choices, you enter a vast world of excuses.”
…It’s about choosing instead of excusing!
Changing unwanted thinking and behavior, as we know, is possible and doesn’t have to take months to reprogram your thinking.
You can choose to notice your habitual thinking and begin to change any thinking that no longer serves you.
How to fix excuses…
Here’s how you can begin the process to become someone who no longer relies upon excuses…
- Be curious and recognize when the excuses show up – To break old habits you firstly need to become aware of them. Excuses always give you a way out. Start paying attention to any limitations you are putting on yourself. Observe your thoughts and the feelings associated with them. Write them down. Notice when these thoughts and feelings feel out of alignment with who you really are. This creates a little distance between you and the story/pattern.
- Create a little distance between yourself and the story/pattern – The more we understand ourselves, the greater ability we develop to move beyond problems by growing through them, rather than using excuses and becoming locked in fixed thinking. Excuses aren’t the truth – they are simply thoughts that hold you back. Excuses can cause you to lie to yourself. By creating a little distance, you see the story for what it is, just a story and you stop taking it personally. It’s not part of you.Ask yourself this question for each excuse statement: Is this really true? Challenge yourself. By creating a new belief that this might not be 100% true, you open up new possibilities and options to explore:
How do you know that this is true?What evidence do you have?
Can you invalidate this excuse?
- Be kind to yourself – As you become aware of your unconscious patterns and what’s behind your excuses, it’s important to be compassionate to yourself. Let go of the past and accept where you are now. Resisting, complaining or judging only prolongs the pain and keeps you stuck. Accept your previous excuses as okay – it’s just what you used to do until Today. Many of our excuses are deeply entrenched and originated from our early life.Remember, you did the best you could then with the resources you had then. You didn’t know at the time that there were other choices available to you. Forgive yourself and others for your previous conditioning.
- Be with your excuses – By fully experiencing the sensations that are associated with your excuses, expand your capacity for growth because you get to see what no longer serves you, and this opens up the way for new choices of approach. Be curious and open to new ways of doing things.
- It’s a process – Changing your thinking can take a little time. Firstly you’ve got to catch yourself in the pattern, then create a little distance, and be with it before you can let it go. Be gentle on yourself and allow a little time for each step. All the time remain curious and use humor when you catch yourself in the act of falling back into the pattern.
This is your one amazing and beautiful life… You can’t change the actions of other people, but you can take responsibility and choose your own. You create your future with the choices and actions you take starting today…
It’s your choice…
What excuses are you going to pay attention to starting from today?