As a professional coach-mentor, I often get asked about coaching mastery. The usual questions are: When will I achieve coaching mastery, and what does that even mean?
Last week I had a conversation with Sarah, one of my coach-clients…
“Every time that I think I’ve reached coaching mastery, a client pushes me up against a new edge, and I can’t see how to coach beyond the level that I’m currently working.”
Sarah was coaching a client who was working towards his goal, but she knew he was getting in his own way of making sustainable progress. She didn’t know how to help him out of an old unconscious pattern. Feeling out of her depth she started to question her abilities as a coach.
Have you ever coached someone and then wished that you’d been more direct during the session?
You recognized what the core issue was but felt out of your depth and too scared to give feedback or challenge him/her? So the issue takes up space and is not dealt with directly or deeply.
It can be frustrating when you get someone so close to a breakthrough, but you know that you haven’t gotten deeply to the heart of the matter, and you’re not sure what to do to get them there.
It’s hard to coach brilliantly when you’re not able to recognize the unconscious default patterns that are specifically holding someone back from creating that huge shift and the sustainable change they want.
You know there’s something missing in your coaching work…but you’re not sure what you need. You can’t see how to coach beyond the level you are currently working.
This has happened to all of us during our coach-training development.
Some coaches stop here and never take the opportunity to engage in deeper work because they:
- have never experienced self-exploration and discovery for themselves so they feel limited by what they know;
- don’t have the framework or the tools to guide them to work at this level;
- can’t see how to coach beyond the level they are currently working; and/or
- don’t have coaching support to help them continue to develop and experience their self-awareness.
Sarah wasn’t one of those coaches. She asked me to help her define coaching mastery and how she might achieve it. She was frustrated that it was eluding her, even though she’d been a coach for seven years…
What does coaching mastery even mean and how do I get there?
Coaching mastery does NOT have an end point where you simply arrive… It’s a life-long inner journey of self knowledge and experience. It develops as long as you keep growing.
“You only understand your clients from the level that you understand yourself.”
Let me explain…
Most people learn how to coach by focusing on developing their competency and skill sets, and by defining their coaching process. These are the basic essentials for any coach, whatever the context of your work.
Great coaching reaches far beyond simply what works and quick fixes.
If you want to engage your clients in a more in-depth process of self-exploration and discovery, so they can recognize their own automatic patterns, then you have to develop a more intimate, trusting, coaching-client relationship.
The process of coaching is much deeper than most people think. Especially if you’re helping your clients to experience themselves in entirely new ways and create new foundations in their daily lives.
This requires a deep level of coaching…
If you’re like me, then you are an avid learner. Over the years, as I have trained and experienced working with my clients, I’ve noticed that there is a point in your coaching development when it becomes less about your competency and skills around the coaching process and more about who you are becoming along the way.
Less about Doing and more about Being…
Coaching mastery is more about who you BECOME rather than what you say or do.
If you want to be a brilliant coach, then your first responsibility is to know yourself…
It begins with YOU!
The more you are aware of your own true nature, the deeper you can guide and support others. Being in a relationship with yourself opens the way for you to build deep, trusting, and powerful relationships with your clients.
This is the key to real coaching mastery. Working at this level means that you have no other choice than to go inward and know yourself at a deeper level. The deeper you go – the deeper you grow – the deeper you can serve others.
The BEST tool in your coaching toolbox is YOU! … if you are curious and courageous enough to go there.
Reflecting on your own personal experience will open you up to greater self-knowledge and consciousness. This gives you deeper access to the different approaches your clients truly need to help them to experience significant life-shifts and achieve their intended goals and dreams.
It’s an inside job! If you want to go deeper with your clients, then YOU have to go there first.
This, my friends, is coaching mastery!
Whatever your business, being a coach is no small undertaking…
For me, The Enneagram has profoundly transformed my life, both personally and professionally. Its wisdom consciously runs in the background of my daily life. I can’t imagine coaching without it. It’s such an effective tool. It is the foundation of all my coaching, teaching and consulting work.
The more aware I become of my own true nature, the deeper I’ve been able to guide and support others. Being in a relationship with myself has opened the way for me to build deep, trusting, and powerful relationships with my clients. This has been key for helping me become a better leader, coach, mentor, and in building my successful coaching business.
I know you want to be the very best you can be. If you’re pushing up against the edge and can’t see how to coach beyond the level you are currently working, then it’s time to go inward and know yourself at a deeper level.
Your clients will thank you for changing their lives!
If you’re not sure how to move to the next level of mastery – I’d love to talk with you. We can schedule a quick call to chat further about your needs.